In a now-viral post on Reddit, a parent asked the internet if they were in the wrong for throwing a party for their daughters after they were uninvited to another thrown on the same day.
Under the username Ho776JB, the parent posted to the Reddit feed “Am I The A**hole” where they explained that the other mother asked for the poster’s two daughters to dye their hair “a natural color.” The two girls, aged 11 and 10, have their hair dyed purple.
“I asked why and the mother insisted their hair would take away from birthday pictures cause they’d draw attention,” the post read. “I asked if my daughters could just not be in the pictures and she said there’s no way to guarantee that and to either dye their hair a ‘normal’ color or they can’t come.”
As a result, the parent decided to throw their daughters their own party and invited the daughters’ classmates—the original girl is in a different class.
The party was a hit, the poster wrote, and afterward, they posted a few photos of the event online.
“Apparently this was the wrong move cause the little girl’s mother saw my post and asked what right I had to steal her daughter’s moment from her,” the parent wrote. “Her daughter saw the pictures and was upset she didn’t get to come to the party because they didn’t have the things we did.”
The Redditor said the mother called them an “a**hole” for “one upping her” and if they really wanted their daughters at the party they would have just dyed the girls’ hair.
In a 2018 article from Good Housekeeping, Dr. Sejal Shah, a dermatological surgeon told the magazine that she does not recommend dying or bleaching a child’s hair until after puberty—and ideally not until their late teens.
The article continued that non-bleach and temporary options are a good alternative for little ones.
Commenters on the Reddit feed mostly came to the parent’s defense, some saying there was nothing wrong with throwing a party on the same day—especially since it was Halloween.
Other commenters took issue with the other mother’s decision to show her daughter pictures from the other party.
“OP [original poster] had every right to have a party for her girls, who were deliberately excluded from the other party based on how they looked,” one comment read. “And why on earth would the other girl’s mother show her the pics? Who was she trying to make feel bad?”
Another commenter thought the Redditor’s decision to throw their own party was a good lesson.
“It’s a great lesson in life, to know that you don’t have to sit around feeling bad that you’re not invited to something, you can make things happen for yourself,” they wrote.