Wedding days are supposed to be a day for the bride and groom to celebrate their happy union in the company of their nearest and dearest.
However, one bride-to-be has been forced to make a difficult decision when it comes to her big day. A decision, she says, that now means several of her closest family members are set to miss the occasion.
In a post published on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” forum, the woman explained that she is due to marry in three months as part of a low-key wedding and reception and last week got in touch with her parents to ask that her younger sister, Anna, not come.
It’s a decision many on social media have expressed support for.
In a post that has been upvoted over 19,900 times and generated more than 2,600 comments, the woman, posting as Priyrpro, explained that Anna has “severe autism” and “while she is verbal most of her communication is ‘physical’ like sign language due to her social discomfort.”
The bride-to-be noted that while her sister communicates better around family, she has “bad cognitive skills” but “can’t comprehend boundaries” and has lived with their parents since birth as a result.
More specifically, the woman says her sister Anna has an issue when it comes to her future husband, Michael, whereby she will often try to touch and kiss him inappropriately.
“At times when we were at my parents house Anna would try and grab Michael’s hands, try to lean in to kiss him or would have a really bad shutdowns if she wasn’t allowed to be directly next to him,” she said.
She said that they had tried to speak to Anna about the issue but unfortunately “she doesn’t really understand.” As a result, she has now taken the difficult step of excluding her sister from her wedding, telling her parents she just wants for Michael to be her “partner” rather than Anna’s comfort person.
“They called me selfish and asked how I expected them to agree to something like this,” she said. “They told me Anna is disabled and may never experience a wedding of her own and while I have Michael for probably the rest of our lives she’ll have no one and that Michael and I can be a little more understanding to the reality of her life.”
Since then, her parents have told her they will not be coming to her wedding.
They also rejected her criticism of Anna’s behavior, arguing it was “normal for a woman her age” to kiss and hug someone like Michael in that way as “she doesn’t understand what her feelings mean.”
The bride-to-be suggested they could “redirect” Anna away from the groom during the wedding but her parents rebuffed that idea, insisting he simply needed to “get over it.”
Similar suggestions that they watch the wedding via webcam or pay for someone to look after Anna were rejected with the bride’s parents expressing concern they when they eventually die, she will be looking to “pawn” her sister off on other people whenever she could.
The woman told her parents that ultimately Anna was not her “life’s responsibility” and though she would “pay for her care” she was unsure about how she might behave around her husband and any future children. At this point, she says her parents hung up on her, before later sending a text message urging her to “do the right thing.”
Despite the difficulty of the situation being faced, the majority of responses to the post were supportive of the bride’s actions.
Rileygreyy commented: “You’re right, she is incapable of leaving your fiancé alone on the only day she needs to leave him alone.” xHappyAcidx asked: “Can you do a celebration with your sister at a later date? I understand she’d be on him but at least your wedding day he is yours and only yours.”
NobodyAskedShutUp added: “I totally empathize with your dilemma. It can be a sticky subject to discuss disabilities, especially given the family-tie, but you are not asking/acting in bad faith whatsoever.” Ksarahsarah27 suggested her parents “should be handling it instead of assuming everyone should just be okay with someone’s behavior that has to do with boundaries.”
GAllenhead9008, meanwhile, proposed they hold a “little mock wedding at home.”
“They can also just invite the people Anna is comfortable talking around to so it’s comfortable for her and she can actually enjoy it.”
Newsweek has contacted Priyrpro for comment.
The issue of who and who not to invite to your wedding remains a source of much debate on social media. Earlier this month, one groom courted controversy after detailing how he kicked every female member of his family out of his wedding after they turned up dressed in white.
Another couple, meanwhile, caused a stir among their friends and family after canceling their plans for a big wedding to get married at a local registry office before embarking on four honeymoons with the money they saved.